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Dating Customs and Traditions in Turkey – Love and Weddings


I, an American, have been in a relationship with my partner, a Turk, for nearly 10 years now. Needless to say, there have been ups and downs and a learning curve of each other's customs and habits. However, we are happy together, which I attribute to our love and the mutual respect we both have for each other's culture. There are some expected and unexpected differences that can pose as wonderful advantages as well as annoying hurdles to intercultural relationships with Turks. Especially if you're living in Turkey, Turks have the "home turf," so it is up to me, the foreigner, to adapt to these cultural divides, which I do for the most part. Nevertheless, there are times even I slip up and pick fights, and when I do, it most definitely has to do with timing.

She texts us we are abroad can we wire her the money to buy a motorised treadmill because she cannot get exercise by going out because she has young kids.

the finer points where views divide when foreigners date or marry a Turk and When I first began dating my Turkish husband-to-be, we were. Traditional weddings and marriage customs in Turkey. What are they wearing and what is the difference with western wedding ceremonies. Are turkish couple. The culture and traditions surrounding dating, love and marriage in Turkey are as varied as the people themselves. Exploring Turkish customs.

I am astonished at her cheek. Of course we would have to pay the bank costs and never see the money. Example 2 Father in law has maxed his credit cards and he can only barely pay the minimum. He is desperate and threatening to go to a money lender. He owns his own home, dilapidated but in a good area.

He asks us to lend him the dollars and will pay back at a month. I suggest to wife that they sell the flat, buy a new one with central heating etc. She is horrified and we lend them the money.

We also end up paying half the costs of putting in gas and now they moan about the gas bill. Example 3Brother in law has not been paid for civil engineering work because the builder cannot sell the houses because they have no 'tapu. Nobody has ever been able to explain to me why you would build a house with no 'tapu.

QUOTE[surely, marriage to a Turk should work no better or worse than marriage to someone of the same nationality]Meral I do not agree with this. Relationships are not easy things to make a sucess of but when you have got the added stress inducing things in a mixed marriage then of course it makes it harder to make a sucess of.

Dating in Turkey - The Sit Down Show

I will add a bit more. A number of my husbands family have neighbours who have men who have gone to live in the UK.

He has told me that several of them are married to English women and have families but they are also married to Turkish women and have children over here too. Quite a few Turkish men still have an attitude of male sovereignty, which permits them to believe they have the right to more than one wife at a time despite it being "illegal" in Turkey. This mindset is so deeply ingrained in the culture that no amount of legislation can wash it away.

As for mixed marriages in general, a lot also depends on the individual personalities, eg. As long as the Turkish husband doesn't have respect or make allowances for the differences in culture, there's sure to be problems.

Sex and Dating in Turkey

So I have to admit, you have a very valid point! But they don't maintain these families. The stupidity of this mentality is that men with little or no money try to do this and both families exist in poverty while the man ponces off foreigners. Of course the wives and their families have no money and would rather live in poverty than work themselves.

Why do they not just get jobs and work? Well I think we should be careful not to say that everyone is like this, but I have seen the same things Toasty has mentioned. A lady I know has a boyfriend who's married to another woman and seeing her on the side, and she's quite poor, sometimes asking me to help her buy groceries, and I wonder why her boyfriend isn't doing anything for her.

But we certainly can't say that this is something that only occurs in Turkey. Your sister-in-law would have been better investing in a double buggy and taking the kids out and walking for her exercise I had two young kids, no car, only transport public buses, had to take both kids and one buggy when I went shopping or anything, and I also worked part time for the extra money to get by, we had very little money so I couldn't afford a child minder so I worked at night in a nursing home, while my Husband worked in day time It's like working for a living is beneath Turkish woman, I know not all are the same, and I also know a lot of men don't want their wives working, make's them feel slightly worthless maybe Sorry just had to say.

I watch the Turkish news most nights and every night it seems they have what I call the ekmek parasi story. Endless moaning about having no money, prices etc. They enjoy the poverty and seem to blame 'unnamed foreign countries' for keeping Turkey down. My mother-in law has never worked and has never had any money. Sister in law the same. They cannot work because of either having children or husband doesn't want them to work apparently.

Having children is just an excuse in my book, there's thousands of woman have children and go out to work, I think a lot of them would prefer to stay at home and bring the children up, but this is sometimes not an option as it hasn't been all my adult life I've had 2 kids and always worked, I've had to keep a roof over my children's head and food in their mouth and clothes on their back so I had no choice Why would a man want his wife to live in poverty, making do and mend.

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Dating and marriage in turkey

Clear editor. Upload or insert images from URL. Turkish Marriage Search In. Rate this topic 1 2 3 4 5. Recommended Posts. Report post. Posted January 15, Share this post Link to post. Hi Ben Posted January 17, Posted January 18, Posted January 19, Posted January 20, After just a few dates, my then to be husband moved in with me but we were considered as living in sin.

So we married within six months, perhaps because of pressure from the family to grow up and be adults! Thankfully, the question of my virginity was never discussed even though I was ordered to wear a red virgin ribbon around my wedding dress. This is where you have to be careful as many people assume arranged and forced marriage to be the same thing. It is not. There were no dates. She never had to complete the walk of shame in the early hours of the morning.

She never had to buy that little black dress and high heels to impress. Could it be that dating in Turkey is a lot easier than in the western world? Every day, I am in TurkeyI learn more and more about my adopted country and it never fails to surprise but as Turkey moves further towards western values and trends, I wonder what will happen to the traditional Turkish dating rituals of the past.

This tour explores the cultural heritage of Turkey from the East to the West. Learn more…. I have watched mostly foreign and some Turkish friends grapple with dating and all its highs and—more often—lows, and have become endlessly fascinated with the subject. Although it is not something I have to partake in, it is a subject that fascinates me. A Turkish male friend once told me that one night stands are not really a thing, and especially not for women no big surprise there.

Another Turkish male friend told me that although men and women can be friends, growing up in large mixed-sex friendships groups is a lot less common than in other parts of the world. He also told me that if a girl and a boy are friends, pretty soon one of them will develop a romantic interest in the other.

Religion is of course the major player of why this is the case. Sex is seen as something that should happen between a husband and wife, and practiced according to the teachings of Islam.

With a religion that severely subjugates its women comes an unfair balance between the roles that men and women play in courtship, marriage, and sex: the woman is submissive to her husband, who can have multiple wives although polygamy is illegal, it is still practiced in some parts of the countryand use her for sex whenever the mood strikes him.

Marital rape and domestic violence are both common practices, especially in rural areas. Then it is not private. We cannot view adulterers as victims. The question begets why the Turkish government is so obsessed with sex. It could be out of either envy or obsession caused by self-suppression. Some sort of a covetous behavior perhaps.

The consequences of this conservative view of sex are dire—for both men and women. Growing up, men believe that women are sacred prizes to firstly win, marry, bed, and then—as sexual freedom is not encouraged and many men and women from more conservative families will sleep with no one before they get married—cheat on.

When my partner and I first arrived in Turkey, we stayed with a pair of uni students. These two young guys would have big groups of their male buddies over most nights but I never saw a single woman. When I would be cooking, he would come and stand next to me and just stare.

It was very uncomfortable but also enlightening.

Discussing regional dating customs and traditions in Turkey. From falling in love to choosing a wife for marriage. h?mm it depends on individuals and their ethics. For example there are really conservative ones. They are getting married after just one or two. Another Turkish male friend told me that although men and women can play in courtship, marriage, and sex: the woman is submissive to her.

Needless to say, we moved out soon after. The problem is that women and men are not encouraged—on a large scale—to live together as friends in a share house or even as partners before marriage. Universities too have mostly same-sex housing for students, and women can only sit next to another man on intercity buses or trains if he is her partner.

If you already want to meet Turkish ladies, here's a short list of the most important steps for. To improve living standards for married Turkish women living abroad, a recent study has analyzed marriage trends between Turks and other. Ive met quite a few people who have married into Turkish families, and Can and I had been dating over a year and a half when we made the.

Men see women as possessions and as many women grow up being treated like princesses, they develop unrealistic expectations of men. Because they have freedom to select, to be selected by one of them makes the guy more of a hero, a winner, a champion. Or even more frighteningly, a guy once completely stripped off and got into a bed with a foreign girl who was sleeping and definitely did not invite him to do so.

She woke up when he started touching her, freaked out, and told him to get out, and his reaction was one of complete shock and disbelief, followed by downright refusal.

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