Main -> Dating guy -> A guide to dating the Germans - Expat Guide to Germany . Expatica

A guide to dating the Germans - Expat Guide to Germany . Expatica

You Know You are Dating a GERMAN Man When...

Learn about compulsory German health insurance with TK here. Dreyer put her head together with members of her dating service to come up with the most important reasons to date a German, and some tips on how to deal with the cultural differences. This is what the German love-seekers had to say:. But don't we have a great variety of different types of women and men in Germany? Germans are open-minded about meeting new people from different nationalities. It gives us that international flavour when we have to speak English with a foreigner. We like that.

For example, if we have a meeting with 10 friends, we can expect to wait for 30 minutes until everyone is there.

So, sometimes it is not like I want to be late, but I know that I have to wait for a long time if I am punctual. Therefore, I also come a bit later to avoid too much waiting time. If you have a meeting at 1 pm, the German people here really mean 1 pm. After living here for some years, I get used to being punctual. And when I visited Hong Kong and met my friends again, I was shocked that I was the only one who arrived on time. With that said, be punctual on your date. Germans are like the opposite of the Americans.

Small talk is part of the American culture. Strangers talk to each other in the shops, on the plane, in the elevator, etc.

Germans are not used to this. They can be seen as a bit cold to people. If I have to describe this, then Americans are like peaches, while Germans are melon.

Peaches: soft outside and hard inside. The Americans can do a lot of small talk with you and seem to be extremely friendly. But most of the time, this kind of small talk is only limited to very superficial topics. It is hard to really be closed with the Americans and to have a more meaningful conversation. Melon: hard outside and soft inside.

The Germans can seem to be very cold and reserved. It is hard to get to know them at the beginning because they may not look super excited and may not initiate talking with you if they do not know you. However, once you get to know them, they will treat you as real friends. They will open themselves up and have a meaningful conversation with you rather than staying at a superficial level.

So, if you see a German guy who is interesting to you, be proactive and try to initiate a conversation with him. Waiting for him to talk to you first may not be the best idea as he may not be that open to strangers. This was hard for me to adapt at the beginning. Germans are direct. Too direct. Comparing to Americans who like to sugar-coat their words, Germans say what they really think.

If they do not like something, they will let you know it. He told me he did not like the food I was eating when I tried to share with him. Germans are direct and they expect you to be the same. So, if you date a German guy, expect some honest feedback from him.

But no hard feeling. He will tell you his true thinking and expect to get along with you in an open way. In Hong Kong, girls are extremely concerned about their body shape. Because people judge you based on everything. If you see a girl who is a little fat and wears a short skirt, you will hear people talking about her from behind. Look like some elephant legs! In a hot summer day, my friend still wore a long sleeve jacket. I asked her why. It was already so warm outside.

She told me because her arms were fat. And her arms were not fat at all! When you look around in Germany, you can see girls wear what they want to wear regardless of their body size. They are even naked in the sauna. People respect each other and do not judge. If he loves you, he will love you as a whole. Be confident of yourself and that makes you more attractive. German guys care about their appearance: they dress properly when they go out; they like wearing shirts; they make sure their hair looks good; they do not go out with shorts and slippers, even just for a trip to the supermarkets outside.

With that said, if you date a Germany guy, he expects you to take care of your appearance as well. You do not have to dress super fancy all the time. But at a minimum, you need to look decent when you go out. In general, people do not associate gender with special roles in Germany. Germany has pretty high gender equality. German people are very independent. They do not think that women are weak comparing to men.

When it comes to taking care of the household, it is not just the job of a woman. Since both women and men go to work these days, both genders are responsible to take care of the household. Though not very common, there are also examples that men stay at home as housemen, especially when their wives earn good money.

Another example is that men and women also share the responsibility of raising a kid. It sounds almost like a fairytale.

Thanks, Amber! Thank you for your story. Love this article. I met my German 6 years ago when he was on a working holiday in my native, Australia. The first time I visited Germany to meet his family and friends we took a camping trip to the Alps. I commented that he was like the Mountains.

Beautiful but scary, light and dark, warm and cold. I love your story, Mel, I laughed out loud at parts and am so pleased to hear that an Aussie gal found her Bergmann.

Because of my inability to read him, I took our relationship directly to the friend zone, and he got into a relationship with another woman, which for some reason made me jealous.

Single and looking for a date in Germany? In this post, you will find information about what it is like dating a German guy. Dating in Germany. When dating Germans, there are no formal discussions on “going steady” or relationship . What this guy name, sound too familiar to my story. German men are great and loyal partners but how to make them to like you? Most German guys are fortunate enough to have a good job and a good salary.

I would always sort of blow him off, because he never made a romantic gesture, going out with him was like hanging out with a friend, and I wanted to more.

I finally went out with him for drinks, and decided to open up more, realizing that I was just as closed as he was, holding on to my own southern old fashioned ideals, that the man should make the first move. So realizing our cultural misunderstanding, I basically told him it was okay to kiss me, without saying it. OMG, he moved mountains, never been kissed like that in my life. Spanish, Italians, etc.

But now all I can do is day dream about this man day and night. Why do you wait until now to start this…. I have a question. Do you think that it would be fine if I date around with other guys until I have assurance that he wants to be in a steady relationship?

Thanks for reaching out, Kass. For starters, whose turf are you on? Is Herr German in your area, or are you in Germany dating? If the former, carry on as you are. He was hurt, but not offended. Good luck, and keep us posted! I met my German man on tender when he was in town for work. The next day we went out for drinks and he we drink a lot of wine and he pay for all of that which I was surprised on the following day he came over and I made breakfast and he helped.

It turned out we will whatsapp each other every other day me and it was a brief meeting in person but we stay in contact and somehow we fell into being friends very easily. I had dated other people he had dated a quote crazy french girl and quote he was going to come back to the US to meet some girl he met in Philly but then one day he had a revelation. In typical German style straight no chaser he says I think you and I get along very good I like talking to you I feel that I can tell you everything about me and it feels better than with the other girl.

Then he went on to say that when he was here visiting the US with me he was still involved with the previous girl and he realized that he was not paying attention to who was right in front of him. You are absolutely hilarious!! Thank you for this amusing guide and the nuggets of truth!! Your observations and interpretations are very well written and made me literally laugh out loud and slap my knees in public! I am a German Samoan so yeah I met my German when.

Well actually we were childhood friends! It all started when my family and I went to the playground P. I went on a web swing and asked my sister if she could push me yeah I was such a lazy 10 yr old. Goddamn my sister pushed my so high.

I fell of the swing and kicked someone in the face and landed on something or someone hard and solid. I looked to see a tall muscular blond with blue eyes He.

When a German single is on a date with someone from abroad, we seem a Most German women like a man to be a gentleman and love to be. Hello to everyone! I am dating a german guy. Since I come from South Europe, I understand that there are some differences between us, in the way of being. German men can be romantic. In my 20s I would have considered dating a German guy boring. In my 30s I consider them sexy, so much so that I married one.

Hot He basically looks like a freaking god. A GOD I fangirled until I saw him glare at me … He still hot tho Anyways I said sorry and he smiled and we started talking I kinda felt sorry for him cuz my big bro gave him the evil eyes the whole time we were talking.

A few years came along and he asked me to meet him at the park where we first met so I got ready and drove off. At the park we sat under a tree We talked and laughed And he started leaning in. I did the same and we. But unfortunately we saw a bright light and laughing. We saw his older brother taking a picture of us! He chased his older bro as I ate the potato and wurst he made for us.

German Men and Romance: Everything You Need to Know

The end. I met my German guy last January online. We only started getting closer a few months ago, I was going through a tough time and he was there for me. It was then that my feelings for him began to change, that and his voice is amazing. He literally has no German accent speaking English, except on certain syllables.

He is reserved, but can be opinionated.

Germans don't date the way Americans do, they date much more informal and often it's not clear from the beginning what the enterprise is. This past August, I attended a dinner with about eight tall, handsome German guys. It was a great evening of learning all about raves and DJ. Register for free at Expat Dating in Germany to meet the most eligible So do not expect a German man to be a domestic wonder, nor be.

He has trouble voicing his feelings but has no trouble telling me he loves me. It seems that even German men like chocolate. Thank you for sharing your story I too am from the U. But the two I have dated are like donkeys—they just refuse to give information.

They keep their cards close to their vest. In hindsight I should have gone for the German; witty, handsome, tall, nice physique…but years later I may have never met my current German boyfriend with whom we have one son.

He has a sense of humor that is admirable and he is unashamedly a gentleman who invariably opens doors, give flowers, a kiss on the cheek upon greeting and never ceases to amaze me on his candidness about how he feels and about us. Being away from him now for more than a few months confides in me about things that worry him and could not be more open about his undying love for me. I love this man and could not be more happy. Thanks for sharing your story!

Do you want to only a platonic relationship with him? Are you wanting something more? These are two important questions to consider. If the former, what are your expectations of your friendship? Long-distance friendships are also hard, and require a lot of support and patience.

Your German friend may be hesitant at being so forthcoming in friendly outreach because it was ended on your accord, so he may be treading carefully. Give it some time. Regardless, I still value what we have now — but thought it worth you knowing how I felt. Its quite interesting to see the replies here. I will tell you my story. Iam from India and I met this German man online.

We started talking on watsapp. I met him 2 months ago online but never in person. Hes a cardiologist and is in Sydney right now. At first after our few talks he asked me to skype but I cudnt as my webcam wasnot working. He got pissed off and called me a fake and blocked me from everywhere. I was ok with it as I hadnt developed any feelings for him. But after 15 days all of a sudden he popped up again and apologised for his silly behaviour, I forgave him and since then we are in touch almost everyday.

We skype, we watsapp and we even talk on fone. He is visiting India this monthend and we are planning to meet. However last weel hasnt gone good.

We hardly had any conversation for the past last week. Although he called and apologised 3 days back and said he is very busy with work and by the end of the day he gets tired alot. I am quite understanding about it. But lately I feel I have started to develop feelings for him. And I am not sure if he is at the same level too. Although he has often said he likes me and he thinks Iam cute and all.

But that doesnt serve the purpose.

I am quite confused here. We talk about everything. We talk about how was our day at work, what did we eat at dinner, daily chores and yeah sex too.

We do have sex on skype. But I am still not sure. Is it that Iam expecting alot or Iam just rushing into things. In a German man and just came to see what my partner goes through. I can say most is pretty true especially the West German thing of course me being of a West German family I was always thought them dirty and poor. Thank you for sharing, this article and all the stories here are just lighten me up about a German man. From the way he talked and gave his opinions I knew that he is a smart guy and seems like a gentlemen.

He really knows how to say things. He knows exactly how to respond me. If only I found this article before yesterday, maybe I would keep his contact and talk more. Loved this! I met a German guy about a month ago when I was there on vacation!

Thanks so much for all your replies. Actually it was like play as i winked him after some days he replied me by introducing himself and told me he is just curious to know me ,That he is more interested in Asians but after chatting with me on dating line for 4 hrs from his place of work.

He told me before going and sent me pic to choose or advice him which i did. But to my stupidity i kept telling him i want something serious other than one time sex ,he told me initially that he wants a companion not sex but you can know how stupid i am i kept telling him as if am desperate. That he likes me and had a little feelings for me that he want to get clearer picture of everything.

He said i should keep his number and maybe anytime i want to talk to him as a friend. That he appreciate the fact that i accepted his friendship. He said but you should not break your heart. All these happen within some days and we have never met. Though we are in contact but dont know what to do. You will not be able to persuade them otherwise. For one, you will reduce their faith in their decisions if they were to re-decide, based on getting to know you sooner.

I think that they have a precise idea of what they want and are going to let a woman please their ego with their attention, maybe sleep with her but maybe not, as they seem to really commit themselves to this looking for the one. Sex would be limited to mutual masturbation or even less, uni directional.

I would say…a German gives his heart at once or never will. I would advise you not to let yourself be in this position. Yes, you fell for him, but I am sure you have been here before and you know eventually you must admit defeat. Seriously, wait until a guy says wow, I must have you, you make me feel like I want to be here. Otherwise they really like a woman draining themselves for them. They sit back and drink it all up.

Not fair, but…. Guys sadly date cause they are desperate for something physical But then they move on without having given of themselves. Get your own without giving your heart if you need that, but not with him. This sudden wanting to see you is probably a booty call.

He wants Asians. He has said so. Sad but true. One has to wait until a guy is entirely tired of the game. We are all in the same boat!

You will win the lottery first! Thanks Stephanie. I really appreciate the effort you did by replying me. Yesterday my german man chatted with me. After going through again in some mails here i woke up and decided to send him a message precisely a friendly flower and my best saxo music by Kenny G. He replied me with thanks and appreciation. During the afternoon I wasnt expecting his messages as he told me he will be with his family.

So he sent me his family pic mum and his sisters. I replied by sending some of my family members to him too. So as he reached home later he chatted with me from 6pm till noon at night. I saw it as an opportunity to console him told him my own little experience in life too. He asked me what i could do if he happens to have someone as a partner. I understand that he want to fly like beautifly for all these years he has been caged.

That i will support him in his decidion but will always be a shoulder to cry on if he want. Then i turned the table around begin to advise him on what to do to keep those ladies. I said no will support you in your decision in as much as it pleased you. Then I asked him those three ladies are they aware that you are seeing each other?

He said firstly he has met 2 in real life that he tells the first almost everything but the second has alot of complication has kids always asking for money and he just want her for sex.

Dating german guy

I ask who is the 3 person ofcourse you though we have never met but he finds me so intelligent and we have similar charaterstis. That he respects me for the fact that am so much grounded and have empathy for others. That all these while he doesnt want to offend me by letting me know about other women.

He was so much relieved and said he has never discuss these issues with anyone before but only me. That it seems life can be easy with me. He said soon he s going to stop that online stufff toob many women if not he will not concentrate on what he is looking for. He said now I know why he is running away am I comfortable with his decision.

I said I will support him explore and make chioce. Thats it. Thank you. You have just told him to look around and that you will be there. You hope your loyalty will be repaid. In your experience, has your loyalty been repaid up until now? You live far away, and you are willing to buy a plane ticket and show up, if he has time for you in August.

Would he want to be responsible for you here when you know his secrets and he is happy dating around? How will it grow while you are apart? I know, he sent you photos of his family.

ASKING GERMANS WHAT ATTRACTS THEM IN A GUY AND IN A GIRL, LOL,UNBELIEVABLE ??

You feel absolutely generous to a complete stranger—he might as well have landed with a boatload of new immigrants. You want to help him with his future.

Well, you will be his social worker. Do you want an adult partner or do you want to do good volunteer work? I hear you building up this into something, but it sounds very familiar. Be your own social worker and be understanding to yourself. You should have dates here that are fun, without spending money on a plane ticket. You are dreaming. That is like beauty, expected, and other women are also kind and lend an ear.

You should be laughing, finding similarities, and not talking about problems. My opinion and I know it is not what you want to hear. You are giving way too much out for six hours of conversation and a few photos. Especially when there are at least two to three others who are dancing for him. Hold back on your emotional investment!! This is not love yet, or maybe even later. Dear p. Thanks for pouring your heart out.

Meanwhile am not flying down there for his sake am just relocating finally in Germany. I think one of the reasons I wrote this online is to get peoples opinion like yours. I am greatful and actually am not putting my eggs in one basket funny enough i have alot of people who are on the same site asking me out for coffee while some are busy asking for sex directly lol.

So when am there I look around to know how things work there. Thanks once again. Glad you were open without getting defensive. Good luck, stay flexible and sadly, remember that men are really used to hitting and running in dating app world. Best wishes! I was lying out by the pool and it took him awhile to talk to me because he thought my brother was my boyfriend as he explained later.

He was very kind, talkative, interested in getting to know me no small talkrespectful and we had so much in common. Later on in the night, as we were out enjoying drinks, music and talking he finally leaned in and kissed me.

It was really passionate and I felt very comfortable with him. At the same time he was very respectful, not trying to do more than kiss me and hold my hand. After getting back to our hotel, we can into my family again and we all actually sat down and ate together. After we finished eating, we both said good night, he kissed me on the cheek and we went our separate ways. I was leaving the next morning and he said that he wanted to see me before I left.

We saw each other while he and his friend were having breakfast, we chatted for a bit and we said bye. Before leaving he said he wanted to come visit me and he was going to try to visit before he went back to Germany. Later that day I got a text showing me picture of flights, he was planning on visiting me for a day and a half before he went back to Germany by plane it was only 1 hr away so he kept insisting that he come and see me. However, it was going to be very difficult for him due to work he has his own businessfutbol practice he plays on a league and the time difference Germany is ahead 9 hrs to where I live.

We kept calling each other during the day and I heard in his voice that he was over the moon to come out and spend time with me not exaggerating. I was disappointed of course, but what could I do? He apologized the next morning and everything was fine.

We have a lot in common- family life, values, career, sports, music, how we think and analyze things, the list goes on and on. He sends me voice messages a lot over whatsapp because he knows I like to hear his voice. Do I mention something to him without sounding needy? If I do, how should I approach it? Do I just sit back and let things happen organically?

I hope someone can give us advices on this haha. I met a German guy 27 through an app while I 23 was in Germany, he works in Switzerland. We would chat alot sometimes I would forget to reply, sometimes he would and that continued for a month and a half.

I had an opportunity to visit him in Switzerland for two days so I booked a bus ticket and we decided to hang out together from Friday evening. Things went really well, he bought dinner worth euro he earns alot so i guess price didnt matter to him. Whereas to me it did and then we went street partying and ended up kissing for 4hours and then he walked with me all the way to my hostel and decided to see each other again the next day. So saturday I spent the whole day with him, he suggested not taking the bus back home so I cancelled it and took the other one on Sunday morning so saturday evening i stayed at his place, making out but no sex.

But he admitted that he never fell so quickly for someone like this before and we both verbally said that we liked each other alot. And he said that he would come to my residing city in Germany on the end of the month because he had work anyways.

And then I went back to Germany. After that we messaged everyday, he went to asia to travel for two weeks holiday and we would write when possible. Turns out, his work schedule changed and he had to go to another city in Germany instead of Munich where I reside, but he still managed to come all the way from Friday afternoon till Sunday morning.

He left his workplace on friday early for me. Booked a hotel for his stay but I was also allowed to have breakfast and use the lounge etc. Maybe I should have. Anyways I left Europe, now back to my home country and he said he will visit in November but nothing is sure. And we do text everyday but I dont know if its because of the time difference or if it is because of his text style but I only hear from him once a day, maybe messages on whatsapp, very short and just informative ahaha and I dont know what I have to do because the text is not enough for me.

I like him alot but I dont know what is in his mind. Was I just for fun, did he come all the way for sex or smth he would never be flirty through text! What is this?? I met a German guy online, this website is for people who learn the German language. He messaged me first then added me on skype.

Then at first he seems to be so eager to know me. He also told me about his siblings and some other stuff. Those things happened for two days only.

On the first day we had video chat, then wow omg he was so handsome. His smile is so charming, but he looks so tough. He seemed to be comfortable talking to me. Then when I saw my profile on that website where we met I saw that he unfriended me. Then on the second day, I chatted him first then he replied and asked me about my plans in the future and how long have I been single. I told him wow what a random question. I then asked him why do you ask?

THen he said why do I ask what? For me to get to know you more. All that stuff, my comment is getting so long now. Then now, I just chat him earlier I said sorry for disturbing you today then I asked him to translate something for me in German. He just said bitte and never asked ff up questions. We both got along really great and he would do little things like put his hand on my back and turn to look at me and smile for no reason, but he would never kiss me, hold hands or anything like that.

And he would always want to pay for everything. Then on our 9th or 10th date, he took me up to the rooftop of his apartment to stare at the stars. I was thinking it was all very romantic and he was finally going to kiss me. It came so out of the blue that I just told him I was fine with being friends. Because you can stay and sleep in my bed.

The next time we got together he asked me if I was dating anyone because he admitted to looking at my dating profile and saw I had put up a new photo. Then for the whole rest of the date he would continue with the small touches on my back and at one point put his arm around me.

Toward the end of the night, he kept trying to prolong our outing by suggesting we stop at different places for a drink.

Then a few days later he left for Germany to visit his family and texted me while he was there. I sent him a text back and have received no reply. This is hilarious. I can relate in some of the stories. We decided to meet in person but it took a while because of our busy scheds. But when i met him, he was really nice, he paid the bill tho i offered to split it. He was gentleman,cute and intelligent l. We had a nice convesation tho it was a quick one because i have to work in the afternoon.

Then he told me that he is looking forward in meeting me again. He travelled often and when he was back which was last week, he asked me out again. I feel good when im with him because he is such a gentleman. The kind of guy who would rush to held the door open for you. Coz i walk fast. On our most recent lunch, he would put some food on my played which made me feel good.

He told just the other night that he would love to cook for me one of these days. I think its funny because tho i know that he made an effort to see me but i cant jump into a conclusion if he likes ne or what or maybe just expanding his circle of friends are we are both expat in this country. So i guess i will just go with the flow. So im not sure if i should ask him or what. I am glad to have found this link and get some ideas about a German man.

Hi Can anyone help? We moved in together 4 months ago and things are good on the surface but I often feel like something is missing? He has a quieter personality but he fits most of the criteria mentioned in this article too. The sex has been good but not as frequent as it could be. Things hit a low point when he turned up late for a family dinner recently as he had to work late. He was hardly apologetic and was so tired, he made less of an effort talking to my family.

Who are really important to me…especially if we were to have a future together. Again it started to bother me he was so quiet. Any advice out there? I had to smile when I read Your discription about Ger-Men! I am one of these exotic animals. My first encounter with seeing a German dude. Met him via timderhe was here in the city for 3 weeks for work. We met up for dinner. We split the bill which was cool for me given we just met on tinder.

He complimented me. He was pretty charming and authentic as well as handsome. We had drinks I stayed over and then left the next morning.

It felt quite natural. He got busy I got busy and we had random late night messages. He was not one to talk about sex, he was enthusiastic that we have had good conversations about all sorts of topics. Not something I would normally do given he was essentially a stranger. He was very about schedules which I put down to him being here for work. He was cute cos there was a boyish charm about him from asking me about what Color he should wear. He invited me to have drinks at the hotel he was at with his colleagues.

He went back to Germany — we talked and he invited me to see his beautiful city.

I have just come back and it was an interesting time. I stayed with him during that time — a week. I was concerned I would be in his way and wanted to starless bit he was insistent. I needed attention — a kiss a hugtouch. And it definately not natural to him.

He is a very warm person with an extremely good heart. But touch is not something that comes naturally. Chivalrous and a gentleman in every other way. He went out of his way to cook for me everyday but yet night times were odd. When it was time for me to leave he took me to the airport and invited me back anytime whether he was there or not to stay at his place. I have hardly heard from him. He comments on my social media but cannot seem to have a convo longer than hello.

Your post is very interesting and informative, thank you! I have been talking to a German guy for almost two months and we finally went out. Things were going very well and we met every week consistently for three weeks and he expressed his interest for me throughout.

He also actively texted me his location when he was traveling out of town for work. I like him a lot as he is always genuine and kind. But after the third date after he tried to crack a really dry joke to inform me that he is back in town and I replied with sarcasm because he unknowingly offended mehe stopped texting me actively. So I decided to text him first for the first time to ask when he wanted to hang out again. He gave me a smiley when he received my text but told me he was busy over the weekend.

He did explain in detail who bothers to explain in detail if they are not interested? I would really appreciate any form of insights from fellow readers. Thank you! I have a German Boyfriend and I am a Filipina. At first I was hesitant since he was so cold and boring but he is such an honest guy. Are several security tech vendors vying for your attention? Having fewer vendors actually makes more sense. Read Enterprise Strategy Groups report now to learn more.

10 reasons why you should date (or even fall in love with) a German

Why do German guys date non-German girls? What is it like to date a German man? What do German guys see in non German girls? What is it like to date a German? Best of luck. Quora User. Related Questions What are some tips to date German guys? What should I expect in dating a German guy? What is dating a German man like? How can I say a German guy is interested in me? What is dating like in Germany? Do German men like Asian girls?

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    1. I regret, that I can not participate in discussion now. It is not enough information. But with pleasure I will watch this theme.

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