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It's Not You, It's Him: The Zero-Tolerance Approach . BookPage

Pickup: Hesitation Causes Rejection

Sinai Medical Center, where she is an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry. She lives in New York City. You argue with them, but you suspect that they may be right. You've begun to believe that you're too picky, too pushy, or a princess. Well, here's a news flash: even if they are right, it doesn't matter.

You will feel happy, in control, and actually enjoy dating again. And before too long, the new you will fall wildly in love with a man who is just perfect enough to find you irresistible.

Assume Youre Perfect. Sinai Medical Center, where she is an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry. She lives in New York City. Lose the List. When we're feeling "up," we have "up" thoughts and act "up. We can choose what we think, and what we choose to think leads to how we feel and what we do! I'll say it again. You can change what you feel and do by changing what you think.

It's Not You, It's Him: The Zero-Tolerance Approach to Dating

This is great news. This means you can change the way you feel about dating the minute you change the way you think about dating. This means you can change the way you feel about yourself the minute you change the way you think about yourself. It doesn't take years of therapy, counseling, or analysis. You don't have to review all your "issues," work out your family relationships, or sort through your "baggage" first.

Things can change today. When you think differently, you will feel different. When you feel different, you will act differently. Sounds too simple. Just try it. Researchers at Harvard's Thorndike Lab find that it works. Cognitive and behavioral therapists find that it works. Alcohol and drug rehab counselors find that it works. Physical therapists find that it works. Ministers, priests, rabbis, and spiritual advisors find that it works. My patients, clients, and I find that it works.

Turn Dating on It's Head Now take this new approach and apply it to dating. As I said before, Assume that you're perfect as you are. Assume that you're entitled, therefore, to be loved by a perfect man. Assume, however, that there is no perfect man. Assume that if he doesn't find you lovable, that's proof that he's imperfect. In other words, always assume that it's not you.

Once you start assuming that you are perfectly lovable just the way you are, everything will change--how you think will change how you feel, which will change what you do. You'll start to look at each new man through your eyes instead of looking at yourself through his. You'll see dating as your opportunity to see if he's someone who might become special to you or someone you should say sayonara to. Along the way, you may be tempted to fall back on your old doubts about yourself, especially if you've had some problems with romance lately.

But you can practice your new thinking by focusing clearly on the primary principle: It's not you, it's him. Once you make that assumption, everything men say and do will be information about them, not you!

If a guy doesn't treat you as perfectly lovable, you'll feel like a curious observer, a stern judge, or an amused bystander instead of wondering what you did wrong. You'll wonder what's wrong with him, not what's wrong with you.

Once you make that assumption, if a guy does treat you as perfectly lovable, you'll respond with grace and not jump in before he changes his mind or act as if he's your only chance at marriage.

Once you make that assumption, you'll stop blaming yourself for being single! It's never been about you. It's always been about him. If he didn't follow up, it's his problem. If he didn't appreciate you, it's his problem. If he didn't commit to you, it's his problem.

You'll stop asking yourself why. It may have been timing, a previous entanglement, or his insecurity. You may never know.

What you will know is that it's a numbers game, and it's time for you to move on. If he didn't like your humor, you'll look for someone who does. If he didn't like your friends, you'll find someone who does. If he didn't like your family, you'll be sure the next guy does.

You'll stop trying to change yourself when romance fails, and you'll change partners instead.

You'll choose to fall in love with someone who's madly in love with you. You'll react with zero tolerance when you receive zero. It might be the opposite of anything you've ever done since you started dating.

But that's the point. And the time to start is now! All that's fine if you like rooting for the home team, sipping wine, or sailing the open seas.

But if you don't, forget about it. Somewhere there is a guy for you, and you don't have to find him at the gym if you hate working out. By doing things you think guys like but that you don't, you're assuming you're not perfectly lovable with the interests that you already have. You'll soon find out that it's not your interests that are preventing you from meeting men. Faking It Doesn't Work What happens if you sign up for wine tasting just to find a guy, even though you can't tell red from white without looking, and you're fine with that?

Or you tell a guy you meet that you like the same hobby he does just to make a connection?

Well, here's a news flash: It's Not You, It's Him!In her upbeat new “rules” for finding lasting love, Dr. Georgia Witkin shows that the secret to dating without all the. It's Not You, It's Him book. Read 9 reviews from the world's largest community for readers. You're smart and cute and fun to be around. So naturally you. pornthipseastore.com: It's Not You, It's Him, the Zero-Tolerance Approach to Dating: This is a new hard cover first edition copy in a new mylar protected DJ. orange.

Well, you're not showing him the true and perfectly lovable you. Instead, you're prete Would you like to tell us about a lower price? If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support? Georgia Witkin shows that the secret to dating without all the pain is to assume that you are perfectly lovable exactly as you are.

When a good date goes bad, the problem is never you.

When He Says, “It’s Not You, It’s Me....”

Suddenly dating is so simple. Instead you will do what you want, go where you want, wear what you want, and it will only make you more perfect. You will take everything dates say and do as information about them—not you.

You will feel happy, in control, and actually enjoy dating again. And before too long, the new you will fall wildly in love with a man who is just perfect enough to find you irresistible. This book will make dating fun again—and help you find the love you always dreamed of. Because we think about relationships, and talk about relationships, much more than single men do.

Besides, even if you were, picky, pushy princesses get married every day.

Buy It's Not You, It's Him: The Zero-Tolerance Approach to Dating First Edition by Georgia Witkin (ISBN: ) from Amazon's Book Store. Everyday. It's him the zero. Kimmel believes in our it's not you it's him the zero-tolerance approach to dating terms below. The singles on Match are actually genuine. In her uplifting, boldly pro-woman guide to dating, It's Not You, It's Him: The Zero- Tolerance Approach to Dating Dr. Georgia Witkin tells readers, If you love who.

And so will you. Read more Read less. Read more. Don't have a Kindle? Ask Seller a Question.

Buy It's Not You, It's Him: The Zero-Tolerance Approach to Dating, in Very Good condition. Our cheap used books come with free delivery in the US. be around. So naturally you wonder why you're still single. Well, here's a news flash: It's Not You, It's Him! It's Him. The Zero-Tolerance Approach to Dating. It's Not You, It's Him In her upbeat new “rules” for finding lasting love, Dr. Georgia Witkin shows that the secret to dating without all the pain is to assume that you.

Dust Jacket Condition: New. Georgia Witkin shows that the secret to dating without all the pain is to assume that you are perfectly lovable exactly as you are. When a good date goes bad, the problem is never you. Suddenly dating is so simple.

Its not you its him the zero-tolerance approach to dating

Instead you will do what you want, go where you want, wear what you want, and it will only make you more perfect. You will take everything dates say and do as information about them—not you.

You will feel happy, in control, and actually enjoy dating again. And before too long, the new you will fall wildly in love with a man who is just perfect enough to find you irresistible. This book will make dating fun again—and help you find the love you always dreamed of. Because we think about relationships, and talk about relationships, much more than single men do.

Besides, even if you were, picky, pushy princesses get married every day. And so will you.

Georgia Witkin, from Sinai Medical Center, where she is an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry.

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