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I've often thought about what would happen if Dave and I were to be more transparent, but I don't think it would work. We live in a society where monogamy is everythingand it's hard to explain that you can love having sex with multiple people but still only love one person.

We both know this, but if we tried to put our behavior into words, I'm afraid we'd say things we'd regret. The closest we came was when I got an abnormal Pap smear result. The retest came back normal, but it did give me pause and make me wonder how safe what we were doing was, physically and emotionally. Dave and I had a serious talk about safety, but spoke mostly in the abstract - about things that might have happened in the past - and came down to the rule that we will always have safe sex with other people.

My guy swears he has no sexual fantasies. He's lying, right.

Through his teeth. You can't blame him though: Transparency isn't always easy when it comes to the kinky stuff.

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