Florence Welch: 5 Things You Didn't Know About HerLike family, friends, school, etc. Relationships noun : The way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected. Being a Dyspraxic is a challenge. Relationships are tricky at the best of times for anyone. Now combine the two.
When talking to someone with dyspraxia we can be a little show at processing information so can take time to answer back. When processing the information I tend to have a blank look on my face as all my energy is being used to process what was said.
That blank look can be mistaken for disinterest, boredom, or even shyness. With me, I can break the list of people who know me into two groups the ones that cannot make me talk and the ones who cannot get me to shut up.
Both sides are confused that the other side exists. My dates rarely go past the first date as it is normally the cant speak Philip who tends to show up.
Over 80% of children with Dyspraxia/DCD missing out on crucial treatment, research finds. Things you discover when dating someone with dyspraxia Dating, . What Is Dyspraxia Dysgraphia, Dyslexia, Child Syndrome, January Baby. as in the OP. if someone was nice, intelligent, attractive and you kind of fancied them, BUT they had bad dyslexia and dyspraxia and/or dyscalclia would you still .
The unwritten rules of dating make it even more fun. After a first date when do you text the person? When do you ask about a second date? How much should you text between dates?
Trying to figure these items out is mind field for most let along someone who struggles to figure out body language and social norms. If things do progress onto date 3 or 4 or even a relationship develops the issue can be even more fun. I like most people with dyspraxia enjoy my quite time. I use to allow my mind to relax, turno off or perhaps think about the day.
As a result I find it very hard to date someone who wants to texts or talks all the time. To me this quite reflecting time is my release. I have spoken about in earlier blogs about how sleep is another important item. With me I am a very routine person with regards to sleep to ensure I get enough. I have had times when its my bed time and that it even if the other half wanted to watch a dvd or talk. Commutation is important in any relationship but even more so if one of the people in the couple has Dyspraxia.
Assuming why we do this can lead to issues. In the words of Homer Simpson assumption is the first step to getting it wrong.
If you work with and talk to each other it will not be an issue. For example if you know that every night at 8 o clock my phone gets turn off to help my mind shut down and improve my sleep.
I am late for our date. You have no idea of the time and energy it took me to get out of my house. And then, driving off in the wrong direction. This page isn't just about a relationship in the sense of dating, but anything When it boils down to it, people with Dyspraxia are awkward. So I've been dating someone with dyspraxia and although he told me about it early on, he just talked about it as something that affected his speech and spelling.
You know why a text sent a 9 o clock is not answered. I tend not to carry much cash and tend to use my debit card instead. I also have a record of where I spent the money so I can figure out where it is has all gone. The other answer may appear that I use a card for small items in hope the other person offers to pay cash and I get it for free. I have had more than one relationship end for these reasons. First off most Dyspraxics have good and bad days in a very literal sense, some days we just wake up and we really don't even want to think about moving.
Other days we wake up and we wanna go do things and be productive all day. I'm not really sure what the reason behind it is, but there ya go, we have some days where we just don't wanna do much of anything except maybe sleep.
Second, many of us figure it out very very early on, but we don't know what to do or what it even is that's wrong. When I was a kid and I was asked to go play sports and whatnot in school, I was always teased about it and that eventually led me to stop trying and just refuse to do anything in those lessons.
Whenever I tried, something in my head would "jam" and I couldn't do whatever it was. It's kinda like you'd go to kick a ball and it was like there was a cord wrapped around your leg not allowing you to go past a certain point, you tried to swing and you got halfway then it just stopped and you failed for seemingly no reason. Because of this, myself and many others have emotional difficulties growing up. Most of us have a high emotional intelligence, we can understand others and interpret well but we often don't understand ourselves.
Your SO probably knows you feel upset about his behavior, but he isn't sure what to do about it or he thinks that he might do something wrong and make you feel worse.
Dyspraxics often yearn for approval from peers, even more so when in a relationship. You seem smart so i'm sure that you're already doing so, but trust me re-affirming him that he maybe isn't worthless is a great pick up.
Dyspraxia: When the brain takes the ‘scenic route’
We tend to gravitate towards states of depression because we feel so useless compared to everybody else and we don't often get compliments. He will get frustrated slowly with some things, everybody does but Dyspraxics can be hard to show it or accurately tell others about it.
My first piece of advice is try to be subtle and ask him if there's maybe anything specific in the environment that annoys him a lot, it can sometimes add up. For me personally, it's always light levels and heat. I got those symptoms from my Dyspraxia. I'm incredibly oversensitive to heat and I cannot stand harsh lights. I also have some issues with white-noise, for instance, if you have two songs playing over each other somewhere in the house near me and you try to talk to me, i'll sort of hear you but it won't make sense to me.
I have no idea what you're saying, only that noise is happening. It gets annoying and especially embarrassing to explain to someone face-to-face. We also tend to be quite articulate, but slow thinkers.
You need to give us time to consider things and consider our options, try not to ask him for snap judgments too much. I guess if I were to sum up everything, i'd say Try to ask if there's anything subtle like things in the environment that get on his nerves, try to gratify him, make him feel less crap about himself where possible and try to give him time.
When he's reclusive, try to give him some space and maybe after you've given him a few hours ask him if he wants to talk about it or do something distracting. He might say no and stay reclusive for a bit or he might say yes and you can get him out of his shell more, it all depends.
Honestly Dyspraxia is kind of hard to figure out and deal with. If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask. Also, try to remember that Dyspraxia typically gets better as we age. Our symptoms almost always stay the same, but we learn to deal with them much better through self-reflection. If it's helpful to you, here's a pretty comprehensive list of all the symptoms that adults with Dyspraxia can experience, though do note almost nobody has all of them. That was unbelievably helpful, thank you so much!
There's so much of what you experience that he does to, only I never associated it with his dyspraxia. It makes a lot more sense now, and I feel bad I didn't realise before. I want to give him his space when he needs it, but how do I do that without leaving him feeling isolated.
10 things you shouldn't say to someone who has dyspraxia. I recently met a really cute & intelligent guy. He told me he has dyspraxia & he is disorganised, has a scattered brains & bad with direction. Dating and Dyspraxia. Dating someone with Dyspraxia can seem like a challenge, it can be worse for the person with Dyspraxia. Two issue I.
I constantly tell him that I care about him, and I understand its hard for him to express how he feels, but I need companionship as well. Is it okay for me to ask him for that every now and again? No problem! Don't feel bad, it's usually very hard to pick up things with dyspraxics and it's often made worse by the fact that we usually aren't the most talkative of people so we often don't seek help or talk about these things.
You seem like a very patient and forgiving woman, from the sound of it you are approaching things the correct way already.
When he wants to be alone, just leave him to his own devices for a while and if he doesn't seem any better after some time has passed just ask him if you can help.
If you are telling him that you care like that, trust me he isn't feeling isolated, he is likely just very unsure of himself. As I off-handedly mentioned earlier, dyspraxics often self-reflect for long times and atleast with me, during those times I am very critical of myself. My more isolationist periods tend to be anywhere from a day to a week though by the end of that time I typically come out feeling much better and I no longer completely detach during those times, I do still talk to others but that interaction is limited.
To answer your question though, yes it is completely okay so long as you aren't making it sound like an order. You're totally okay to say "would you mind coming over here and doing x with me? There's no real modest way I can answer the last part so i'll just be very blunt.
Some dyspraxics, including myself crave gratification. You want to change my mood to a far better one? Tell me you want to hang out with me and do things together because I mean something to you. Trust me, it doesn't get old.
If you phrase it nicely, it'll have the opposite effect of what you think and it might encourage him to come out of his shell more often. Every now and then just try asking him things like if he wants to come watch a movie or whatever you like doing together and add on something affectionate at the end of it.
Doesn't have to be much, anything that reaffirms that you want to do things with him specifically works. The short version is simply, yes it is perfectly okay to ask him for some company and doing so in a nice way can help him feel better about himself.
Make him feel wanted and all that. Anyhow, i've went and made a wall of text again so just like last time, hope what I said is helpful to you!
Oh and somewhat personal sidenote, on his behalf, thanks for seeking help! It's a real pain when people don't seem to understand and do nothing to try, so it's great to see someone ask questions and try to better help someone with the condition. Thank you, honestly, you've given me so much clarity! It sounds like the two of you have a lot in common, so it is much like having him answer my questions!
I do hope I don't end up on the other end of the spectrum and smother him!relationships and disabilities
Oh well, guess we'll find out. I'm married to a man with Dyspraxia he was diagnosed late when he was It also affects his speech sometimes more in times of stress and he was also diagnosed Dyslexic at the same time. They tend to come hand in hand most of the time. As a result of half a lifetime of being misunderstood and not accepted for who he is he has severe depression and anxiety.
The way we get through it is by accepting everything he is and allowing him to go through bouts of depression without judging or having too high expectations of him needing to do things. He needs time to process it and as Dyspraxics brains are wired differently it may happen in a way that you don't understand.
The advice I would give is to fully accept him for who he is and allow him to go through it.