Main -> Dating -> Found out my daughter is dating my ex-girlfriends son: Lavender Room: Slowtwitch Forums

Found out my daughter is dating my ex-girlfriends son: Lavender Room: Slowtwitch Forums


Some forums can only be seen by registered members. Could really use some advice on this. My boyfriend and his mom still see his ex's daughter. She's 4 years old. My boyfriend and his ex were together for 3 years and they were engaged, he was like a father to this little girl. I can appreciate how hard it must have been when they split up but after all of this time they broke up a year and a half ago he still talks to the ex and her child quite often.

But if his intentions are true and he wants to be the father figure to this little girl who was young enough when he was with her mother to see him as an important figure in her life, then frankly it is a bit cruel of you to dismiss the situation so quickly. He clearly seems bonded with the kid, as does his family. BriarRose December 4,am. Her dad is in the military and is frequently gone, and my boyfriend has been quite a father figure to her. I also imagine it would kind of fizzle out as time went by.

I am going to disagree on your statement that the girl would forget about this guy in a year.

Dating my ex girlfriend daughter

It seems that him and his family are very involved in her life, and she is old enough 3 years old to form very clear memories and lasting impressions from those around her. Some of my strongest memories of that age were my own parents breaking up and my stepdad coming into the picture.

I was still married to my ex when my daughter was 3, and he went away to 6 months of military training. She missed him occasionally but was not destroyed and honestly, after about 2 months, stopped asking when he was coming home.

You have a point there with him breaking off the relationship at an earlier age. My stepdad has had a huge influence on my life, and again, it makes me wonder how different I would be and where I would be in life without him, or if my mom met him later, earlier, etc.

Just a quick example to make what is a very long story short, I had an aunt — who is now divorced from my paternal uncle — who treated me terribly because she was against my parents not getting married. The last time she watched me without another adult family member present was when I was about 6, but I have memories of feeling hurt and anger towards her from the few years prior.

Does she want someone that will only love her and their future, hypothetical family? Maybe if she has a rational discussion about her feelings, they can come to some sort of compromise together. Put me in the not weird camp. I thought that before knowing the age, but especially now that I do. So, the question is, can the LW be ok with this? If not, she should probably MOA.

To me, this is not a red flag, but I can see how it might be for some people. But, LW, I would not try to change him to the point where he resents you. Staying involved is great if everyone is on the same page and if they have some sort of stable arrangement.

Not impressive per se and maybe just indicative of a lack of boundaries. But who really cares if this all is happening haphazardly as long as the child is happy and healthy and loved?

The problem with haphazardly is that there are no expectations nor boundaries in place. These are necessary to keep everyone safe and healthy in the long run. My biggest worry is that a girlfriend like the lw comes along or another boyfriend comes along that want their own family. So people get pruned out and little girl deals with abandonment. Yes this!

I think 3 years is a pretty stable arrangement. Even a marriage can turn into an unstable situation if it ends Sas. Win-Win for everyone. Except apparently the LW. The 2 of them need to sort this out between the 2 of them pronto. And if they were able to formalize something with the Ex that would be even better.

I think the issue is with the LW feeling insecure, the grownups need to handle that between themselves. SasLinna December 4,pm. It definitely sounds like she always knew about this though — maybe she wants to get more serious with him and no starts to see it as a problem?

I recently started dating the daughter of my ex-girlfriend (about 8 . Is there much resemblance between your new girlfriend and your ex?. 27 years removed and new families raised I just found out that my oldest daughter is dating the son of my college girl friend. Crazy, because. Is it wrong to date my dad's girlfriends daughter? dated their son's ex-girlfriend or mom's who have dated their daughter's ex-boyfriend or girls.

Lyra December 4,pm. Or quasi-kids. I think if you push this too much, he might drop the relationship with you and not the one with the little girl. If the grown ups sit down and talk things through this should make everyone more clear with what the appropriate level of involvement is.

Grown-ups communicate. TheTruth December 4,am. My thoughts.

The boyfriend sounds like exactly the sort of man a woman should want to find. Stand up, caring, loyal. To the LW… my advice. Start getting involved with this child that means so much to your boyfriend and show him how secure, understanding, and kind you are.

This advice is not shallow nor sexist. There are ways to disagree without insulting out host. I wish there were still thumbs downs.

Anna June 10,pm. It is a shame the single mom of the baby allows it. I find most men are guilted or feel bad. To expect ANY serious future spouse of his to roll over and accept this is highly unacceptable and inconsiderate to their feelings. She has the right to bring it up. Thanks, Wendy! My sister got over it, and developed a great step-parenting role with the girl. They are, together, a family unit, despite his not being the biological father of the girl. You get to decide whether this is a situation you can handle or not.

Fabelle December 4,pm. Why the mother allowed a stranger she dated for leas than a year to spend so much time around her baby, or 2. Why a stranger would bond with a baby to the point of wanting to be in her life post break up. They were in their early 20s at the time, a lot of drama happened, and the mother lost custody. We call her my niece and I get regular one on one time with her despite her having a stepmother figure. Communication, boundaries, and expectations need to happen.

Maybe just suggesting she call him by his first name at least. Having a stable male role model is good for girls though and to me it is kinda cool he has taken that on. And I mean, mom sounds a bit off to have a stranger get so close to her infant. The child will probably have many men come into her life though mom and having one or two, maybe down the road that stick around and give a shit could send a good message to her. Kids need people who care about them and adults they can trust.

Would I want to be in this situation? Probably not. My mom was a single parent for a long time, the only boyfriend I ever met was the man she ended up getting married to. Does he pay for things or simply spend time with her? If LW and boyfriend get more serious and they have a child, does the little girl become part of this bizarre blended family or is that when he decides to stop seeing her? Summer March 5,am. I completely disagree with this.

I think it absolutely dismisses the feelings of the person like LW who is being asked to accept this situation. The only reason anyone would ever enter into that kind of insanity is because there are children involved. But when neither in the couple is the bio or adoptive parent, then why would most ever consider sticking around for that?

22-Year-Old Says Relationship With Her Husband’s 21-Year-Old Daughter Is ‘Toxic’

That this person perhaps remains in touch with the kid but holidays, vacations, etc should be spent with the actual bio parents and THEIR families. I Get It March 12,pm. Skyblossom March 13,am. Each person gets to determine who their family is and it can include former step-children.

You do get to choose if you want them with their family. People can have messed up biological children that you would want nothing to do with. They can have a strong relationship with the other parent of that biological child.

In many respects it is a version of an informal adoption. The love is there and the desire to be a family even if no one has made it a legal arrangement. Do you see how that even sounds? What a wreck. I was in a similar situation and had to remove myself. Now my ex and this boy can carry on as father and son, which they are not.

Ming March 19,pm. I am having the same situation with you.

2 days ago I am in love with my ex-girlfriend who is married and has a daughter. By - We met when we were in class 10 and we started dating. However. Could really use some advice on this. My boyfriend and his mom still see his ex's daughter. She's 4 years old. My boyfriend and his ex were. My boyfriend was with his ex-girlfriend for a little under a year and he got My sister's husband dated his ex-gf who had an infant daughter that.

My boyfriend has a little girl from his ex girlfriend. The little girl is less than a year old now.

I only dated my ex-girlfriend for three months during the summer of She moved Is it ok to date/boing ex-girlfriend's daughter? Rate this.

My boyfriend actually only dated his ex for a short time. They were more like fuck bodies. He told me that he felt guilty and not fair to the innocent girl so he wanted to keep in touch in case the little girl needs something in her life.

A few months ago, my ex-girlfriend's mother sent me a Facebook message. Over the four years I dated her daughter, Mary was always. You might sub-consciously be dating the daughter because of something your ex did to you. You might want to check this out. Then there is the. lmao the bitch in me is saying to do it. But please don't start a relationship with that girl unless you can actually see yourself liking her. - Dating Question.

His family is a Christian family but somehow they accepted the existence of his daughter. They even planed a trip to visit the little girl. It is so odd and uncomfortable to me. He did told me that he had no connection with the kid and wanted to give the rights away.

We were almost engaged. However, my family has no tolerance on this thing and I also cannot get over this. Skyblossom March 20,am. Why would you resent your boyfriend not giving up his own child? He gives very little time to this child and yet you are jealous of that tiny bit he gives her. If a guy having a child is a dealbreaker for you that is fine. Not wanting to get involved with stepchildren is a choice.

Dating a guy with a child and wanting him to dump that child is incredibly selfish and heartlessly cruel to the child and you have to know at some level that the guy who will dump the child he had with another woman will dump the child he has with you.

What you are seeing with his daughter is what you can expect long term for yourself. It is that kind of thing that turns people away from Christianity. Her daughter is mixed looks Black and has zero positive Black male influences in her life — and really no Black influences at all. I was teaching her to to love who she is, love her hair, love her dark skin, reinforce that she is beautiful the way she is. Dear Wendy June 24,am. Born King July 5,pm. The comments will throw you thru a loop.

First off as a man getting involved with a female.

The shoes that you have to fill as a man are very big. Your natural instinct to provide and protect are doubled. This becomes your family and that becomes your child point blank. You truly become the man god intended. Which is a great thing in this day and age.

But the comments are what is loopy. No and no take it the way it should be. The mother knows this man and her child have a special bond. I say you embrace it and meet the childs mother and really sit and talk to her and the kid. Maybe you have something special about you that the child is missing.

Kids need all the love they can get to help them grow to be a good person.

Rosie September 14,pm. They did not live together and my boyfriend hers at the time was away for work a lot and the little girl also spent a lot of time at her fathers.

Lavender Room

My boyfriend has not been a constant in her life after the mother and him broke up. She completely shut him out for months and he moved on. Then he got another girlfriend and the mother suddenly came back around and made him feel guilty for not spending time with her daughter, so he came back into her life occasionally. Long story short the mother is now married to another man and has another baby with him. After many heated arguments about the subject, he took down her photos and said he will remove himself from the situation.

So he tells the mother he wants to be in her life. Yet the mother still demands him to be present in her first daughters life. I understand both sides to your story LW and I may be biased but it really does depend on a lot of factors. The drama alone is too much let alone the actual situation.

I hope you have, or will have, found some common ground in this situation and that things have worked out. B Greg October 8,am.

He and the mother break up the daughter stays in the house with him, the daughter gets pregnant with twins. He calls the woman whom is now 40 his daughter, and her girls his grandkids. He and I have been together 7 years, married 6 months.

I don't think she deserves to be used. Yeah I think it would be fine. The mom wouldn't like it but she and her daughter seem not to be in a relationship at all.

I am in my late's. I have a stable career and make good money. My ex-girlfriend 32 years-old and I went on our separate ways.

My ex-girlfriend's daughter does not talk to her and is in college. Lately, after finding out about our break-up, my ex-girlfriend's daughter has been texting me and sending sexy pics of herself. We are friends on Facebook, and we have been talking to each other almost every night.

She says she wants us to be together. Is there any complications that I should be aware of?

Share Facebook. Should I date my ex-girlfriend's 18 year old daughter? Add Opinion. Have an opinion? Related Questions. I like him but he has a girlfriend What is the number one thing that a female looks for when they meet a male for the first time ever in there life.

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