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Should You Date Outside Your Class? . GalTime .com . YourTango


In "Pretty Woman," a wealthy businessman hires a call girl. Buena Visa Pictures They say opposites attract, but is that true when it comes to your income bracket? Reddit users gathered on a recent thread to talk about what they learned from dating someone whose socioeconomic background is totally different from theirs. Many said they enjoy introducing their partners to certain aspects of their lifestyle, whether that includes swanky dinners or "dirt cheap" fishing, but others admit it can be hard. So what's it like to be a working-class kid dating a one-percenter or vice versa? Here are some of the most illuminating answers from the Reddit thread. My mother was murdered when I was a year old.

I couldn't see her as a friend. I've dated up, and had good and bad experiences. I've had good and bad experiences dating down.

Dating for class is shallow and pointless. If someone loves QuickBooks, they are probably really Intuit User Info: nuclearvomit. Since you don't care about social differences, you should be fine. Your other half is the one that is being cautious within reason. Put yourself in her shoes : Why would he want to be with me?

Dating Someone from Outside of Your Socioeconomic Class

What do I have to offer him, etc. The answer is: That you like her and her humble upbringing isn't gonna change that. You need to convince her of that and you both will be fine.

Just talk to her and ease her fears. Are you sure she's insecure? Maybe she's just joking around and knows that her upbringing doesn't matter to you. FYI, My wife only has highschool education, and was a beauty school dropout.

Why does class still matter when it comes to dating?

I have a graduate degree. Stupid stuff like this doesn't matter and whole thing is trivial. Sound advice right here. The girl is definitely more concern than you are and for good reason because a part of her is thinking to herself why would you want to be with someone like her? Which is refreshing because this kind of scenario is how guys tend to think when dating a girl "out of their league.

unlikely to date and marry outside of their own social class. like to be with someone from a different socioeconomic background—and how.

User Info: zhukov She's gonna be uncomfortable around your family and friends. You might find that you are around hers, too.

Would it be a bad idea if invited her to the dinner? I think that dude was a dude, dude! If you've only been dating since last Monday, taking her out to meet your parents might be a little too pressure-filled and premature.

User Info: Offworlder1.

Should You Date Outside Your Class?

Way too soon for her to meet your parents and that will make her uncomfortable. User Info: Touya I ate things I'd never had before growing up on welfare in the South but which to him were absolutely commonplace—ostrich, oysters, expensive steak. I found the way he spent money totally fascinating and yet totally appalling. That is to say, he spent it thoughtlessly, as if he knew it was always coming in a steady stream.

What it's like dating outside your class dating a person from a different class was like dating someone who speaks a different language. She even told me her parents are kinda limited in terms of income and I could date someone in my current class; someone who has plenty of money to spend. is my mother's birthday and we will go out for dinner outside. Reddit users explain what they've learned from dating outside their they learned from dating someone whose socioeconomic background is.

Because it was. And as such, he never seemed to truly appreciate what he was eating or consuming; it was simply part of his normal, what he'd grown accustomed to, while these things were exotic to me.

When he moved out of a one-bedroom college apartment, movers had already been ordered and paid for so he wouldn't have to pack or lift a thing. I had been hauling everything I owned in the back of my shit car to every place I'd ever lived since I turned While we dated, that car broke down and I could not afford to fix it.

In a move that is possibly the most generous anyone has ever been to me, his parents gave me a car—his younger sister's castoff Dodge Neon—which they'd only even given her as a test car for a year prior to gifting her the new Mustang she really wanted.

I needed it far too desperately to turn down out of pride. The relationship didn't work out, but it wasn't because of money. At least, at the time I didn't think it was. But in retrospect I realize how uncomfortable it had all been for me to be around someone who had it so easy while I struggled so much. There was a dynamic I also came to resent as much as I appreciated it—that of the wealthier person always explaining to me about why some such thing was better than the what I was used to.

It was a running joke at one point—this prime rib is just like the one on the buffet at Holiday Inn! I was attending college, trying to work my way into the middle class, but I only knew about most of these far-flung things because of books, never firsthand experiences. In a recent The Cut interview with couples discussing love and classwe learn that such little differences crop up all the time in cross-class relationships.

And when it doesn't work out, it's because of a lot of similar embarrassment or resentment: Someone from a comfortable suburb marries a farm worker, and they discover they have very different ideas about how to talk to their children or save money. Someone poor still feels pressure to chip in on meals out, even when they can't afford to do so. A woman from an immigrant background notices that her wealthier boyfriend won't return things, even when they aren't made well:.

I watched my mother calmly get her money back so many times.

Can you successfully date someone outside your social class? And, if so, what are some of the challenges you should expect to face?. I actually dated a rich girl once (L, if you've read any of my previous dating entries ). Honestly, me and her didn't really think much of it, but her. At face value, the suggestion that women date outside their class seems living in the 21st century, not in the highly stratified social world of Downton Abbey. the tension of dating someone of a different economic status.

Alternately, when things do work out, it's often because those class differences are acknowledged and interpreted positively. In an interview at The Science of Us, Jesse Singal speaks with Jessi Streib, the author of a new book on class and love, The Power of the Past: Understanding Cross-Class Marriagesand in it, we learn about a take on marrying up or down we don't usually hear.

Streib's interviews demonstrate that cross-class pairings are not blind to problems, nor are they doomed from the start.

They can totally work, depending on whether or not the twosome enjoy and appreciate their differences. Streib tells Singal that this was a "kind of a new finding" compared to what sociologists often thought to be true: That rather than always disliking someone for being different from us whether we recognized it as a class-based difference or notthat people who married across class were usually attracted to something in the other person missing from their own background, and they valued the difference.

Singal asks :.

Dating someone outside your social class

Often women who grew up in blue-collar families grew up in class conditions that were really unstable, and what we know about growing up in those conditions is sometimes people internalize a feeling that the world is an unstable place, that bad things could happen at any moment.

It's a tough situation and challenges are bound to come up. Make sure that both people are contributing equally to the relationship -- if not financially, then in other ways. In the end, Alden says, as with anything in a relationship, communication is key to success Differences in social backgrounds alone won't kill a relationship.

Built up resentment about it will. How to Master Being in a Relationship. Are You a Serial Dater? Great Relationship or Great Sex? This article was originally published at. Reprinted with permission from the author.

Gina has also found that dating someone from a different social milieu tricky. ' Going outside of your comfort zone can be a rewarding and. General progressiveness of aside, most of us still date and anyone who has dated someone outside their social class knows it can. How do we choose our partners? Does their social class influence our choice? Sociologists and psychologists say yes.

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