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What Dating Older Men Taught Me About Power and Desire - VICE

I Want Kids But My Husband Is Twice My Age - EXTREME LOVE

A controversial study recently came out that found men are considered the most attractive at age 50, while for women, at age The study was met with intrigue — and fury — probably from people not of those ages. But what would it actually be like if two attractive humans — a guy age 50 and a woman age 18 — actually dated? There's nothing wrong with large age gaps, well, unless you're asking David Spade. They have their challenges, like other relationships, but that doesn't make them any less intriguing.

A good few months?

It was amazing. There was no awkwardness. We had spoken everyday and slept together [on Skype] every night for two years, so it just felt like two friends meeting for the first time. I was nervous and shy. No but seriously. Alarm bells are ringing. Why would a year-old man be interested in a year-old kid? Are you ridiculously mature, or is this guy emotionally stunted? Our age difference?

Was I too young? I thought he didn't want to pursue anything at all. So I left. I got into a relationship with another guy, who was older by 5 years this time, not After all this time, I still couldn't get "J" out of my mind.

For those 3 years we would send each other an "update" of what was new. Now that I have been single for awhile I asked if he wanted to meet up again. After a few weeks of e-mails, we have been back to the same thing as before.

This time I had to ask him why? I was always sad about his no desire to have sex with me. He explained to me that he just has a fear of sleeping with people because he has doesn't want children, and or diseases.

He had a pregnancy scare with his serious 7 year relationship ex girlfriend. I know I am only 22, but I have never had a desire for children, and as I get older I have had less a desire.

BUT maybe one day I will want to that to change with the right circumstances, but I honestly don't see it. I don't know if I should take a chance on this guy.

I just don't want to waste my time unless I am worth it. I really like him, and we have been getting to know each other more intimately this time around, and I mean emotionally, not physically. I don't mind waiting, because right now we have no labels with each other. He respects that I don't know what I want, and helps me more emotionally then any other guy I have known. But can I really wait around again for the sex? He said it takes him 6 months to a year to get sexually involved with someone he is seeing.

Is that reasonable to wait that long for someone you are really connected with? Today I asked him how long has it been sense he has been in a seriously committed relationship, he said 11 years. Now, should I hold onto this and be the that special girl who breaks that cycle? And I am not exaggerating about his "sex problem". He was the one who brought it up and he thinks it's a problem, and wants to go to therapy for it.

Is it because of his age as well? I hear that a guy when he get into his 40's hes 39 can sometimes loose testosterone very rapidly. I really like this guy, and what he has to offer is what I really was wanting with the guy I had previously dated. I am in a pickle. What do you think ladies?!?!

What should I do? I do not get it. Pregnancy, use protection, STD'd get tested, there is another issue here. I would get frisky with him and see how he respnds. Can you afford to get serious w some one u will have crummy sex with?

If he has a probelm, menaing not physical it can usually be dealt with! Briena, I know young women like to think they are so mature, but they don't seem to have much common sense or life experience. But especially common sense. Briena, are you sure this guy is not gay? I bet it's never even crossed you mind, has it? Or maybe something is wrong with him "down there". Maybe he can't get an errrection.

Maybe he's transgendered and doesn't have a male part down there yet and is really a female down there. Have you SEEN down there? If he won't be physical with you it means it doesn't want you to see down there, so he's hiding something. Or maybe he's just NOT interested in you so he's giving you all these polite excuses, hoping you'll take the hint and get bored and leave.

But you're still hanging around. I'm sorry. It probably won't be that blunt, but he'll cut you lose somehow. I'm almost positive of that. I'm sorry but please focus your attention on someone who is normal and wants to be with you and have sex with you. End of story. I am a 25 year old woman dating a 49yr old man, its still very new, we'v only been dating for a month now.

Iv hardly dated guys my age it never really works for me, but dis is d eldest iv ever went. M not sure wat to expect, I really like nd if he asked me to marry him I wldnt tink twice. Wen he asked me out he told me he had been divorced for 11yrs nd wants to settle down now. I am a 17 year old female currently pursuing a man who is I am aware that this isn't exactly legal, however, it was a complete. One of the best I've made, seemingly.

Anyhow, we started as friends and just talked and talked and he really likes me and I really like him. I don't know how I'm going to break this to my parents or introduce them.

I'm so afraid of the awkward. I'm certainly waiting until after I turn 18 though. I don't want them to think badly of him or get a bad impression because he is such a sweet heart and complete gentleman.

They're just over all more accomplished and being the driven young woman that I am, I am certain that this is something that I want. He's stable, kind and more giving than any young, inn experienced boy could be and I love that about him. I am in a so call relationship right now with a 42 year old man and i am 24 it has been very interesting.

I only dated two guys before him one was a young love the other was a 6 year relationship. Both of those guys was 2 years older than me. But I really dont know if i would feel comfortable letting everyone know we are dating. Does anyone else feel the way I do??????????

I have a boyfriend that is 19 years older than me. I am 26 and he is We get along so well. We are like best friends. I am pregnant now. I did not mean for this to happen, but I can't change whats already been done.

I sometimes wonder what other think about it.

My boyfriend says "forget them, they are not living your life and they should mind their business". I guess love comes in mysterious ways.

What Dating Older Men Taught Me About Power and Desire

How lovely to know we're not alone going through this love roller-coaster together. I'm a 19 year old gal, dating a 45 year old man. I'm a Student in college and he's a Doctor and a Surgeon. I had an appointment and we both were not expecting anything, just 'another' day, and we both knew once we looked into each other's eyes nothing else, but the gaze in one another's eyes allowed us to be aware of what we as humans are capable of.

As if within a stare of a gaze, we planted a seed and filled it lovingly with creation of devotion within each pause we took and smiling eyes… the love began.

By my second appointment he admitted how beautifully I carry myself, I smiled, and thanked him. I confessed to him, how his genuine smile, and presence is like a realm I have been dreaming of to have in life. He then had no words to put together, I smiled and remained at ease. He then asked, I would like to take you out to dinner soon, if that's alright with you?

I couldn't help but to smile once more. I said, It would be my pleasure. And so we exchanged numbers. He's divorced and has been for exactly 2 years.

He has 4 children the oldest one is a boy 12 years old and the youngest one is a gal that's 5 years old. They're all so lovely and also fell in love with me. They always ask for me and want to show me what they made me in school. They're amazing kids. His ex doesn't approve of their kids loving to be with me so often. But she needs to grow out of it. Just as she chose to grow out of love with her former husband and cheated on him 3 times.

Well, it's now a couple of months, It's getting serious. So I went on to let my parents know about him. My step-father will not accept the fact that my soon to be fiance is a year older than my step-father. My mother has no problem with it, as long as we're both truly happily in love which surprised me immensely! My mother is 4 years older than him and she knows his age, and she understands me.

As for my step-father he keeps telling me no, that he will never accept him.

Oct 29, - A Year-Old Revealed What It's Like To Date A Guy In His 50s. Trending News: I'm a shy, awkward, nervous, anxious person in general. I'm a 22 year old woman and I'm dating a 52 year old man. Bershan Shaw. Loading Unsubscribe from. Jul 26, - My friends think it's weird that I'm dating a 52 year old guy. He actually look like he is in his 30's honestly, I'm 20 and he's 50, we honestly don't.

Because he thinks he's using me as if it were just a 'fling'. If we were to marry this would be my first and no, I have no kids. And I would never have sex until marriage. He knows that, and respects my every word. For him it would be his second marriage.

Also, I came to find out he's Mormon, I'm not within any religion act nor system. I'm a highly spiritual woman, and believe in a higher power. He has been 'trying' to get me to become a Mormon. But I told him clearly, I would love also for him to know my point of view of life and everything you're capable of also. As long as you have self respect for yourself, meaning: you care for your body by what you choose to put in it and put on it.

The more you take care your Goddess body and respect it diligently with grace; the more everyone will automatically take notice and be aware of how valuable you are. And not just that, but they'll respect you by noticing your grace of touch on anything and the way you know to control your posture, and tone in voice. Everyone with just your pleasant grace and mannerism will respect you by the words of choice in front of you and open doors for you, just as getting the chair ready for you to sit on gracefully before you sit down for dinner with them.

You must love your body and inner-self without limit, make YOUR love for yourself overflow upon your heart, in order to love another without end… lovingly without bound. You see, it comes to you effortlessly, just by welcoming grace within your every move and respect for yourself as to others physically, emotionally, and the tone of voice soon every one whom surrounds you at all times, will take notice and appreciate your presence more than ever.

You have control of your entire body including your emotions. Keep in mind emotions will always be there. Emotions love to be directed towards anything you desire. Therefore let that certain desire be something wonderful, rather than disastrous for you and the other person. Be a lady, and take thought of your every move you make. Take a calm pause every now and then and correct the word choice you choose for that certain person in front of you.

Not everyone has your same point of view. So put words together in a way that is NOT insulting the other person. In order for them to accept what you have to say and understand what you plan on doing next. I tried dating guys my age but usually have no luck. I want to try it before I completely just stop trying.

I must admit I'm attracted to them but seems like the conversation is dry or the way the act or carry themselves. Drive's me to be very critical, not meaning to be. I had one prospective in mind but due to my strain of bad luck I may have lost the chance. It hurts. I mean I'm still pushing forward in life, by all means I wont stop due to some hurdles I'm much stronger than that. I've read most of the posts here. Thank you. I'm in my mid 40s and my fiance is in his mid 60s.

He's in decent health; I'm in perfect health. We've been together, in total, about 1. I love him, but I am very, very scared. Mainly about the liklihood or possibility of him getting ill and needing long-term care, and me spending the next years of my life till I'm 60 taking care of him and not being able to do anything. He has no money saved and only receives social security, so I throw on top of that fear the real possibility that I'll have to pay for all of his care, and bankrupt myself.

Setting all of the lovey-dovey and positivity and "you can't predict the future" stuff aside for just a moment, I just don't know what to do. We've talked this to death, and I'm still not comfortable with the uncertaintly and the fear and the odds.

But I believe when you cross into that age bracket the aging really starts to become noticeable. And if so, how are you handling it, planning for it, etc.

I have the same age gap with my mate and he is healthy and a young 63 with teenagers because he didn't have children until he was They kerp him young and he still works the same job he's had for 40 years. Money is not an object or healthcare for us. He tells me I keep him young because I am always finding ways to reinvent the relationship. I keep him moving. No napping on my watch unless we have an early day. He is very sharp multiple degrees and still learning.

I love his eagerness and yes we have to enhance our lovemaking with creativity and he is accepting and open to his limitations. I could not have a better companion, lover, friend, confidant and the understanding beyond measure. Love him like everyday is your last. My favorite quote…"perhaps caution in love is the most fatal to true happiness. It's me again from the pm post above. I wanted to point out something that bothered me in this article: "What are the challenges?

There are many, big, scary things that someone in a relationship with someone 20 years older has to be concerned about. Mainly the aging, sickness thing. I am very scared and could use some advice. Although I know that no one can tell me what to do except myself. Hi would you want awesome years or any other amount of medicore years?

Live in the moment. What if the younger person in one of our situations took ill? Enjoy each and evry moment you have in life, period. Reading this has made me feel a lot better, knowing its not just me. Ive just started seeibg a 49year old im 19 we get on so well and everythings so easy between us.

We havent told anyobe yet apart from his son that lives with him who i get on with really well. He makes me happy! Really enjoy reading this…my situation is I am 43 and the man I have been seeing just turned 70 and just retired. He is wonderful! He is a true gentleman, kind, thoughtful, craring and totally wants to take care of me…Its long distance and in the 2 months we have known each other we have only spent a few days together.

I am in a healthcare profession and my fear is that, since he already has some very physically limiting health issues, he sees me a the person to care for him when he isnt able to take care of himself.

I hate to think of it this way but its my fear! He has been divorced for 6 years and told me he had no plans to date anyone because he didnt want to be a burden to anyone he didnt want someone to have to put up with an "old, crippled" man…so now he is willing to have a relationship with me…makes me skeptical…I did ask him at onetime if he was looking for a "partnership" and he had a look on his face like "you read my mind"…I dont want to make a huge mistake….

I am a very active person and there isnt really any way he can do the activities I want to do…. Whaat a lovely story…and ya'll put me at ease because i can relate. He understands me well and considering am an engineering student and he's an engineer,things just fall into place so well. I am 47 and in a relationship with a man Almost 20 years. I had never dated an older man. Attraction has been great for me and him from day one. It is challenging in other ways as he is retired and I am working.

He is in a different place in his life. Causes the biggest problem that I see after 2 years. As far as romance between adults is concerned, chronological age, means absolutely nothing. Especially in the 21st century and beyond. All of the intangibles aside, like values, maturity. All of the above disciplines are merging together and within a few decades from now, say, Your "old geazer" boy friend who's old enough to be your dad, is going to probably be able to look as young as you are now in your 20s — 30s.

Male pattern baldness — GONE. I'm a single 40 year old male 40, as far as "chronological age", "biological age", I'm much younger. I plan to become a sports diatecian and certified fitness instructor. Anyone my age and older can sexually attract and maintain a healthy relationship with a younger person, provided they: Exercise, Eat Right, Have a good — constructive attitude, share the same core values and interests ….

Chronological age is meaningless, especially now in our modern age, and those that stress otherwise are just ignorant. Chronological age is NOT "meaningless" when the girl is 43 and the guy is 63, and he has a stroke or a heart attack and you have to take care of him for years on end, and likely go bankrupt because his Medicare doesn't cover long-term care after days, and you run out of money. Granted, anyone can have a heart attack or stroke or whatever at any age.

To think otherwise is not being realistic.

Oct 10, - According to this rule, society should accept a 50 year old man dating a 32 year old woman. May 24, - Twenty-seven-year-old Amy Anderson says her year-old boyfriend makes a We started dating at 24 and 47, and I'm now 27 and he's Mar 18, - A man 50 years and older is not in a hurry. So, when you compare us to that Man/Boy in his 20s and 30s sporting a baseball hat and long.

I'm 29 and have been with my partner for just over 5 yrs. I always found that I relate to people older than myself. I haven't told my parents. I'm Indian and he is english.

We are hoping to marry and have children some time soon. I've enjoyed reading everyone's stories here. I was a bit nervous at first about the age difference but i don't tend to think about it.

I use to feel people look at us and may think things but I don't see it. Hi there! I know this was posted a few years ago but I wanted to see how your relationship is now and if you decided to continue to pursue it and tell your parents. I am also Indian 24 dating someone 30 years older than me for almost 2 years and cannot decide if I should tell my mom or not.

It would be nice to talk to someone who has a similar experience. Hello everyone. I googled I am 50 and she is 29 which led to this website. I am posting because I am certain my personal experience will somehow benefit others. Yes; I am 50, and she is 29, actually one year younger than my eldest daughter. In addition I am a grandfather and my daughter is expecting her second child. With that said here is my story. I was single for 7 years after a bitter divorce.

Im 20 dating a 50 year old

About 12 months ago I joined a dating website. So many dead end dates and wasting time until I was on the phone canceling my membership and requesting my profile be removed and a message popped up right that moment. I delayed my cancelation and responded.

My profile was in depth, and contained the total absolute truth about myself and my past. She got a full picture of me, her profile on the other hand was almost nonexistent, a small blurry photo and not much in the way of written description. After a few exchanges I provided my provided my telephone number and we began talking.

I asked her out on a date and when I first saw her and went for dinner I was shocked! She is so funny, down to earth, so clean minded and moral I was amazed. Although there is not only an age gap, there is also a cultural difference, yet we communicated so much and had a blast. I was asking myself what does she want from me. I kept thinking about all my shortcomings, and clearly thought this was a short term something not being able to figure out what will happen. One of the many beautiful things I have learnt from her is how to live in the moment, she lives this way and I have begun to as well.

We spent quite a bit of time together and with each passing day we became more and more friendly and attracted to each other. She took a trip back to her family overseas and was away for 6 weeks. We kept in contact almost daily with e-mail and sometimes phone calls. I found a florist some miles away who would deliver, Flowers, Chocolate and wine to her. She was shocked and could not figure out how I found the address and pulled it off.

When the time came for her to return to the states she could not find a single friend or acquaintance to assist her with temporary arrangements until she settled back in here.

I stepped forward and did everything I could and set her up with a female friend of mine with a place to stay and a ride form airport. Upon her return something just changed, and she began to really enjoy my character and trust me.

We saw each other every single day for months, and it just kept getting better. After 2 failed attempts at getting her own apartment Deposits and all I invited her to move in with me. I have never looked back, and 6 months have passed. I am a hopeless romantic, I have never lied or cheated in past relationships, and I am gentleman to the core.

All of my qualities are so very much appreciated by her. I am convinced that men from my generation and earlier did in fact learn how to treat women. I always open the door for her, she comes first always and although I do not have a lot of money I always provide thoughtful gifts and gestures. We have never had a serious argument or meltdown. I cannot even be upset with her, she laughs at almost every situation we encounter, always finding the brighter lighter side.

As far as health and intimacy goes we hit a home run, I have never had it this good. Everyone in my circle told me to just enjoy each other as long as it lasts, as if to say this is not long term. I do not offer any response, however we both are together because we love each other and could not bear to think of life without coming home and to one another.

We never discuss age, it is not an issues and what others think Expressed or not is meaningless to both of us. I clearly understand that she wants children and marriage and she has told me I am perfect for her, and I feel she is perfect for me. I feel no fear or stress about this, and yes I will have children with her if she wants. When I have a child who is younger than my grandchildren it will freak a lot of people out, and will be one for the books!

But so be it. He treated her poorly, and admitted to cheating on her during a short business trip. She has had enough of players and liars. Her only concern she has ever expressed is finances, which she relates to our future together. I am enrolled in school and will make a career change soon to increase my income and I have asked her for support and patience.

She too is enrolled in school and will begin a new career path as well. Although I am taking life one day at a time, I am so grateful and happy that we are together. I feel like I won the lottery, I am blessed and have a new lease on life.

I did not set out to find a younger woman, in my wildest imagination this would have never been a possibility. I have not yet mentioned how absolutely gorgeous she is, and her smile just melts my heart.

Her beauty is both inside and out and she Is not spoiled or arrogant about her beauty, how rare is that? If you are faced with a similar situation my only advice is to pursue it, give it a chance.

I have never had such an honest, intimate, loving friendship, Loveship before, my partner just happens to be much younger than I. Good Luck, and may Love and light always be in your life, I say go for it the heart knows not age it can always Love……. On one of our first dates I noticed a scar on her hand. I have a near identical scar in the same spot and on the my right hand as well. I asked her about it, and lo and behold we both received the scars at the same age and the same way!

A sign of Destiny? I stumbled upon this post when I googled, '50 year old man'. Yep, that's all. I was curious as to what that search would produce, and I must say the stories I have read from you guys around the world are indeed reassuring and solidifying.

I am 27 years old, 28 in October. I have become friends with a stranger from the internet who is 50 years old. He originally found me on a business networking website back in late January of this year, and although only a phone relationship, we have grown as friends since that initial web connection. It's going on 6months and we are both anticipating meeting each other to spend time to discover if there is more between us.

He is deeply in love with me. Wants me to be his wife. I like him but I just need real live interaction to have my heart fully captured. I do believe if we met we would hit it off and yes it's possible I could fall in love with him. I live in GA and he California. It's too expensive to see each other right now so we're just being patient until finances permit a much anticipated rendezvous.

Just on the phone, we've discovered we connect emotionally, spiritually, sexually, and even on some business matters. My only thing is, my mom detests the fact that I spend lots of time on the phone with him, mainly bcuz of his age. She doesn't like "us" at all…if our friendship did advance I would have to pray bcuz my mother would not be happy at all.

I love my mom but if I were to fall in love with this man after spending time with him, I would be open to being his. I have to live my life for me. If im happy, that's what should matter to her but hey in the meantime, I really wanna see how things go for us.

Him being 50 doesn't bother me bcuz I dont see him as I see him as a man who is human, loves the Lord, and wants to live a happy life. I'm really anxious about meeting him; he's grown on me overtime and this thread has let my guard down some…thank you for posting this story! Congratulations on your great attitude. Lots of online advice warns against big age gaps in relationships and I have agonised over a female colleague at work who is much younger than me who seems to be giving me the 'come on' and is a truly wonderful person in every way.

Maybe I should just take a leaf out of your book and just 'go for it'!

Feb 11, - What's it like to date an older man - like 20 years your senior? According to this I am 26 and I'm dating a 50 year old man. We have known. Nov 19, - Well, you are both consenting adults, so it's legal. However, there will be differences because of your ages. A 20 year old is still learning and  Is it possible for 50 year old man and a 20 year old. Don't get me wrong, there are advantages in a year-old guy. Hey, I'm no psychologist — just your friendly, neighborhood dating coach. But I do know women, and lots of women in their 20's. I have come to the conclusion, I rather stick to my age I am 50, I won't be dating a man in his 30s but I can now.

Sometimes, older is better. With age comes experience, which is why many younger women will always want to date older men. When I married my husband I was already pregnant and so I didn't have a job. He had a really good job though so I was able to stay home and take care of our son when it was born.

"I'm 25 and married to a 55 year old..."

When we had our second child we moved to a bigger house, but then strange things started to happen. Things would fly off the walls and doors would slam at night.

Our oldest son talked about seeing figures and hearing voices. We consulted a medium and they said the house was haunted. After living there about a year more with only minor occurrences we moved out.

That was when the bad luck started to happen. Everything started to fail, with my husband's job, our money and our luck in general.

I went back to the same medium and they told me that a spirit had followed me and placed a curse upon me for disturbing it and not being respectful in the previous house.

He tried to remove it but was unable. The misfortune kept going on and getting more severe as I tried to search out someone to break the curse. But when I found okaforspiritualtemple gmail.

Things started turning around almost immediately after he cast the spell and have been great from there! This was really a miracle for us, thank you Stone master from the bottom of my heart! I am 27 years old and my husband just turned I first met my husband while he was volunteering in Africa for Peace Corps.

I was a language teacher for the volunteers. We first became very good friends and then realised we both wanted more than just friends. He is the most loving, caring, supportive person i have ever met and even though physically we are very different He is 6ft tall white male while i am 5ft tall petite African woman who can easily be mistaken for a 20 year old girl -we just fit in each others life perfectly.

However i don't know if its the racial part or the age but that attracts too much attention from people of which some can be very rude and hateful towards us. Even though peoples opinions and views about our marriage and relationship don't bother my husband at all, it has reached a point where i even get anxiety every time we are in public just because of the nasty stares we get every single day.

I love my husband so much and i know for sure he loves me to pieces. I really need advice…. Society is nasty and what u are experiencing with ur husband is a challenge not an easy one for u too overcome. It makes the situation more hard. I have had such issues as well. I would be so uncomfortable in society because I was so afraid of what people thought of me.

As John and Lauren got older, however, the creepiness rule differed from how people actually responded. Yet according to the survey, 37 was well outside the age range of what is socially acceptable. The results also showed that the creepiness rule is too restrictive about how old you can date when you are young, but becomes too lenient as you get older. Yet, people surveyed were fine with John and Lauren seeing someone in their early 30's.

When John and Lauren are 60, the creepiness rule allows them to date anyone older than themselves the official cap is However, society places more restrictive age limits of 71 and 75 respectively. Overall, the creepiness rule does not accurately represent what people find socially acceptable; people are more judgmental than what the creepiness rule implies. If the creepiness rule is wrong, then I needed a new rule to guide my non-existent love life.

As I reviewed the data, I realized that one rule was not enough. Society has different expectations for men and women — men can date younger than women and women can date older than men.

When it comes to dating older, women have the advantage. According to the survey, a 20 year-old John can date someone who is However, when Lauren is 30, she is supposed to date someone who is at least I not only created separate rules for men and women but also created different rules to determine how old and how young each gender can date.

The charts below compares the outputs of the revised rules with the predictions of the original creepiness rule. In almost all scenarios, the revised rules are more restrictive than what the creepiness rule would suggest. I think there are opportunities to build on this oh-so-important research. What is the actual average age difference between couples?

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